How are you holding up? Are some people in your household giving you this look? Is it starting to feel like you’re living in a colony of feral cats? Hang in there – I’ve got some tips and tricks in this COVID-19 survival guide.

24/7 togetherness? I’m thinking at the end of this we’re either going to have a lot more babies or a lot more divorces. Because this new normal isn’t normal at all. Life is more difficult, more complicated and more stressful. And as an extra bonus … we don’t know when it’s going to end

• Online schooling
• Working from home
• Everyone is bored and irritable
• No separation from your partner
• You’re out of toilet paper
• Just too many damn people around
• Trying to co-parent with a %$#@$%

Just like any time of crisis, your ability to successfully navigate is improved if you implement extreme self-care measures. What does self-care look like when the pressure is on and everybody is demanding something from you?

Self-care right now means anything that helps keep you grounded, stable and in control of how you are responding. The more regulated you can stay, the fewer meltdowns, conflicts, and emotional eruptions you’re likely to see in your home.

Here are a few ideas for keeping things running smoothly at your house. You can get even more tips in the Psychology Today article 7+7 Strategies for Working from Home During COVID-19.

Process Feelings

We’ve never lived through a pandemic before and it seems that every hour the news gets more devastating. We are all experiencing some level of anxiety or grief and that shows up differently for each person. But one thing’s for sure, we don’t want the fight, flight or freeze reflex to kick in and cause havoc. Read more about that HERE.

Everyone knows that mom usually sets the emotional temperature for the home, so find a safe person to share and process your fears with. Keep your anxiety at bay by limiting exposure to news reports or panicked people. Remind yourself that fear is normal, but that you are fully capable of adapting and managing your way through it.

Allow your children to express how this is affecting them and affirm their feelings without minimizing or feeding their fears. High school seniors may be grieving many losses like senior prom, senior traditions, and their graduation ceremony. Help them work through their disappointments.

People tend to be generous when sharing their nonsense, fear, and ignorance. And while they seem quite eager to feed you their negativity, please remember that sometimes the diet we need to be on is a spiritual and emotional one. Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul. Fuel yourself with positivity and let that fuel propel you into positive action.” ― Steve Maraboli

Define Routines

What does a day need to look like during this stay-at-home order? It might be easy to let each day unfold haphazardly, but experts are telling us that a regular routine that looks similar to your pre-corona life will help maintain a sense of stability.

• Stick to regular bedtimes and wake times
• Bathe and dress instead of hanging in pj’s all the time
• Have healthy, scheduled meals
• Separate work/school time from family time
• Limit screen time/video games
• Get outdoors/exercise when possible
• Schedule regular work hours

Establish Priorities

If you and your partner are trying to work from home, oversee online schooling, make meals, reschedule events, scout out toilet paper supplies and care for elderly relatives … your survival may depend on establishing what is priority and what isn’t during this strange time.

• Gourmet dinner or grilled cheese?
• Run the vacuum or play a board game?
• Make the beds or share breakfast together?
• Send that extra email or take a long, hot bath?
• Watch the latest virus update or just continue staying safe?

Your #1 priority right now is safety. First, physical safety – taking precautions to keep yourself and your family protected from the virus. And second, emotional safety – keeping your stress and anxiety levels as low as possible. In order to focus on your #1, that might be lowering the standard or letting go of some other things. Give yourself permission to let go.

Set Expectations

Boundaries and clear, direct communication have never been more important to your emotional health. This is no time to be vague or wishy-washy about what you need from your partner, co-parent or kids.

1. What hours will each of you work?
2. Who is responsible for the children during those work hours? 
3. What precautions will everyone in your household agree to take?
4. What expectations do you have for your children regarding class time and homework?
5. Who will be doing which chores (hint: everyone has extra time now)
6. What expectations do you have of your co-parent in terms of schoolwork and virus precautions?
7. Will you make changes to your co-parenting schedule or keep it the same?

Allow Space

Give everyone in the household, including yourself, time and space to be alone. Togetherness is great, until it’s not – and then it can become a tangled mess of people getting on each other’s last nerve.

• Use headphones or earbuds for privacy and to insulate yourself from the noise of others
• Find a rhythm of together/separate to break up the day
• If your children share a room, designate time for each child to have alone time in their bedroom each day
• Implement quiet times during the day to give everyone a break from the noise. Turn off tv’s, video games, etc… and everyone reads, does puzzles or legos, rests or takes a walk

Keep Up Connections

Encourage everyone to stay in touch with friends and relatives by using Facetime, Skype, Zoom or Google Hangouts. Social isolation can be painful, but just a few minutes of catching up and laughing with a friend can be enough to keep you going.

My high school girlfriends and I just implemented a twice weekly virtual happy hour where we meet on Zoom for an hour and catch up. 

Help older relatives feel connected and cared for by checking in on them daily, ordering grocery or meal delivery or offering to run necessary errands (safely of course). Or ask your church if there are members you can check in on that don’t have family nearby.

Your COVID-19 Survival Plan

Are you finding that all this “togetherness” is putting some urgency to your thoughts about getting divorced? This may be a great time to start working on your exit strategy. Why is that important? Find out HERE.

And don’t forget…you can book a 45-minute Quarantine Laser Focus Session for just $49. One-on-one support and a safe person to talk to amidst this craziness. I’m leaving this special on the table as long as stay-at-home orders are in place.

Book a $49 Laser Focus Session

 

Stay safe. Stay sane. Reach out if you need me. 

Wishing you strength and wisdom,