Should You Work? The Spousal Support Dilemma
Many women who’ve been stay-at-home moms or lower earners need to consider increasing their income after divorce in order to make the budget numbers work. There’s lot of advice out there about spousal support (alimony) and when you should go back to work.
Maybe you’ve gotten all kinds of advice from friends, family, and the internet about whether you should work and how/when you should go about it. Unless you’re a high net worth family, chances are that the income that used to cover one household simply won’t support two sets of expenses. You will need to contribute.
The trend now is for courts to order “rehabilitative” spousal support; meaning just enough to get you back to work and back on your feet. The days of large awards of permanent support are mostly in the past (although some states are more generous than others). We can save arguments as to whether this is fair or not for another day. For today, it is reality and I want you to prepare for it, not be surprised by it.
Before we go on, can I please say one thing?
Google, Facebook, and people who’ve been divorced can’t give you the answers that are right for you!
Work with a Certified Divorce Coach and/or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst. Get expert legal advice from an attorney that specializes in Family Law. Dive deep into your own unique situation, understand your own budget and financial needs, and make the choice about spousal support and going back to work that sets you up for success. I wrote more here about the factors that go into how the amount of spousal support is determined.
I believe in the power of women. And as part of that, I encourage women to take control of their own financial futures. To know their numbers, be intentional about divorce decision-making, and to choose independence over dependence. Get a jump start on understanding your finances with the Ditch Your Divorce Fears Financial Planner. Now, let’s review some of the common advice that I hear out there…
1. Don’t Work – You’ll Get Less Spousal Support
This is pretty common advice. And in theory, it’s kind of true. And yet it’s also kind of untrue. One of the factors that is used to determine the amount of spousal support (alimony or spousal maintenance) is the difference in your incomes.
Seems straightforward then that if you make $0, you’ll get more, right? Uh-huh, except that the court may “impute” income to you anyway assuming your circumstances permit you to work. Impute means that they will assign a value to your earning capacity.
The longer you’ve been out of the workforce, the less education and training you have, the more restrictions you have on working, the lower this number might be. But in most cases, you can plan on it being set at least at a full-time minimum wage job or around $20-24,000.
In this case, as long as you’re keeping your income at or under this level, you aren’t changing the base number that would be used for your income in the calculations. Plus you’re gaining experience and setting yourself up to earn more in the future.
2. Don’t Start Work Until After the Divorce is Final
Again, seems like solid advice. Get that agreement inked and then go earn your fortune. See above for why the courts may not agree to let you use $0 for income in your spousal support calculation.
If you’re like most couples, your divorce may take a while. Why not use this time to start ramping up? Work with a coach to identify your skills and interests. Take some classes or finish up that degree. Polish up your resume and start interviewing. If you’ve been out of the workforce for years, deciding how and where to re-enter is going to be a process. As soon as you decide (or find out) you’re getting divorced, start working on work.
Plus, remember that “rehabilitative” support? The length of time you’re eligible to receive support may be limited. Why spend it all paying bills? Start earning sooner and save some of that spousal support for your emergency fund, a vacation, new clothes or a downpayment on a house.
3. Enroll in School Full-Time
This is another one I’ve heard quite often. Encouraging women to enroll in school full-time hoping that no income will be imputed to them because they are a student and can’t work and attend class.
If you’re studying for a certification or career that will help you earn more in a year or two, then this is a smart strategy. Like I mentioned above, this is the time to get a jump start on preparing to go back to work.
But if you’re going to school just to avoid that imputed income? Well, now you’re just doing homework in a class that won’t help your career in order to earn a little more spousal support. Why not skip Paleontology 101 or Statistics for Business and just start banking money and working your way up in a job? You could have earned a promotion by the time you finished a semester or two of unnecessary classes.
4. Don’t Make Too Much
Keep your income low or he might take you back to court and get spousal support lowered. Unless your court order says that support is non-modifiable, this is accurate. But it must be a significant change. He’s likely making more now too and there are costs involved in requesting a post-decree modification to support. He might not be down for the time, effort, or money it takes to do that.
At the end of the day, which makes you feel more secure: worrying you can’t make ends meet if your support payment is late or paying your own bills and saving that support money for the future or emergencies?
Why limit your earning capacity or keep yourself small just so your ex doesn’t have to pay less? You’ll move on more quickly if you let karma, God or the universe hold your ex accountable for their misdeeds. Just go live your best life – that’s the sweetest revenge of all.
5. Work for Independence
Relying on spousal support for your financial stability will always leave you at risk and keep you emotionally tethered. Your ex retains some amount of control over you if they can still have an impact on your well-being. You can take that power away from them by becoming financially independent.
How stressed will you be if the payment is late and that means you can’t pay your bills? What if your ex gets hurt and can’t work? What if they lose their job? What if they simply decide not to pay? Even if you take them back to court, it could be months before you get a hearing date and your award could be lower than before.
I would rather you be working toward a future where he/she can no longer create drama and panic in your life. Check out this post where I give some guidelines for setting up your budget and finances post-divorce.
The Spousal Support vs. Work Decision Still Got You Stumped?
I can help. Let’s talk and find out if working together might give you some clarity about which strategy is right for you. No matter whether you choose to work now or work later, think about what it would feel like to be financially secure and independent. If that feels AMAZING to you, then schedule a call and let’s get planning.
Wishing you strength and wisdom,
