I hear it a lot. Just about every time I’m asked what I do for a living.  “A divorce coach? You mean people actually pay you for divorce help?.” Then I get the look.

I’m very familiar with the look. The “oh, that’s not a real job” kind of look.

Yep, I get it. Divorce coach? I hadn’t heard of one either until a few years ago. But then I realized I’ve been doing it for more than 15 years – I just didn’t know it.

Hiring a Coach for Divorce Help? Seriously?

You’re planning to hire an attorney or a mediator, so why would you need anyone else to consult with, much less pay money to? And coaching? Really, isn’t that newfangled, new-age talk for someone who stays home all day and just tells people to meditate, eat vegan and do hot yoga?

Uhm, actually confession time. I don’t do any of those. I drink way too much coffee to sit still that long, love a good medium rare steak and don’t pay people to make me sweat. Please, please, I  truly value life and health coaches who help people improve their lives this way – but it is not what I do.

Instead, my clients get a partner who meets them where they are, guides them through the minefield of divorce, and helps them process all the shit that comes along with it, so they can plan for and create a post divorce life that makes their heart sing.

The American Bar Association validates coaching as a valuable source of divorce help and lists divorce coaching as one of the most common dispute resolution processes. They go on to say:

Divorce coaching is a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through divorce to help them make the best possible decisions for their future, based on their particular interests, needs, and concerns. 

Training and Certification

These days anyone can hang out a shingle and call themselves a coach, so I totally understand your skepticism.

Let me give a bit of background so you can feel assured that you are working with a trained, experienced professional who can offer you real divorce help.

• Completed Divorce Coaching Intensive training, study, and coach practicums through the CDC College for Divorce Coaching^®
• Certified by the CDC Board of Standards^®
• Completed The Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA^®) Program
• Passed a series of 4 exams on the financial issues in divorce to receive the CDFA^® designation
• Co-founded and led a support group
• 14 years experience in financial analysis at a large financial institution
• 8 years on staff at a large local church where many divorcing members came to me for counsel
• Experience with my own 2 divorces, single parenting, co-parenting, and blended families

If you want to learn more about either of the organizations that I received certifications from, certainly check out the CDC Certified Divorce Coach^® website here and the Institute of Divorce Financial Analysts here.

But even more important than credentials are real results. I have some client testimonials on the home page and here is one solid example of what divorce coaching can accomplish.

One Client’s Coaching Success

One client I recently worked with, I’ll call her M, did the most amazing amount of work, decision making and emotional processing in just 60 days. Here’s the 30,000 foot view. M reached out to me when she learned from her spouse that they wanted a divorce. This short and incomplete list is what M was able to accomplish in just 60 days:

• Financial research and documents gathered
• Interviewed and selected attorney
• Negotiated financial settlement agreement with spouse
• Divided all marital household property
• Interviewed for and accepted new job (and negotiated a higher salary)
• Moved 900 miles on her own towing a UHaul to her dream location
• Started her new job
• Is happy and calm, feels content

Now the divorce isn’t final. The papers still need to be signed and filed with the courts, but all those things got accomplished in just 2 months. How in the actual hell did she do it and how did coaching help?

Well, first and foremost, she is an extraordinary young woman. But…through coaching sessions with me, she was able to stay cool headed, stay focused, and set her priorities. We talked about and got prepared for each next step in the process. Yes, she had some powerful emotions during our times together and we walked right into those and handled them. But we didn’t let them derail us from our true purpose which was to get her successfully to the other side. As a result of our working together, she made decisions she feels good about and is set on a course to build a wonderful new life.

That Sounds Great, But…

My lawyer will handle it.

• Attorneys are awesome and I absolutely recommend you have a family law specialist on your team. You need someone to insure that your best legal interests are protected and that anything you agree to is equitable and enforceable.
• Attorneys can be very busy with a heavy case load of clients and court appearances, so they may not be as accessible or responsive as you like.
• Your attorney is an expert in the law, but they are not an expert in you or your life.

Divorce is already expensive.

• It can be, for sure, but you have more control than you may realize. I wrote a post here about what you can do to have a budget friendly divorce.
• Good attorneys charge high rates because their expertise is worth it. However, there is a lot you can do to utilize your attorney most effectively.
• Fear is the most expensive thing in divorce and you can easily waste time, money and emotional energy chasing things that aren’t important if you’re just reacting to what’s going on around you. Being prepared and informed keeps you focused.

I’m getting support from friends/family.

• You need friends and family when you’re going through this. You need support, love and someone to bring you Ben & Jerry’s and merlot.
• But their horror stories or advice may not be best divorce help for you (read more here) – they love you, but are not professionals.
• A coach serves as an objective third party trained to prepare you and help you identify what you want and what you need.

Finally, you can check out the Frequently Asked Questions page for more.

Still Curious?

The best way to find out more is to get on a call with me. I offer a FREE, 30-minute Discovery Session so we can chat about what’s going on with you. I’ll answer any questions you have about coaching and how it might provide the divorce help you need. No hard sell, no push. Just that easy. Click below to get direct access to my calendar and choose a time that works for you.

Schedule Your Complimentary Consultation Now

 

Wishing you strength and wisdom,